


An Attempt was Made

by Kivea



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Christmas, Comedy, Fluff, Gifts, Holidays, M/M, Presents, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, human kite - Freeform, k2 secret santa, mysterion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: “Prove it.”Kite looked at him with wide eyes. “Wha-?”“Prove it. Prove you’re ‘not bad’ at giving gifts.”“How?”Part of him was growling low, telling him to stop what he was doing. That this was crossing a line he’d managed to avoid for so long. Part of him didn’t care. “I’ll get you something, you get me something.”
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick
Comments: 13
Kudos: 126





	An Attempt was Made

**Author's Note:**

> This is my gift to Ace (aph-memepan.tumblr.com) for the K2 Secret Santa on Tumblr! 
> 
> I hope you like it Ace!! You gave me a lot of inspiration in your request, it made it such a joy to write something for you <3 <3 <3

Patrols in a city were always easier to do on his own. It was his request usually to the Professor; that he be tasked with an area without a partner. He didn’t care how big or small it was, it was just easier that way. But he couldn’t have it all the time. After the tense atmosphere when the two teams merged they were all encouraged to spend some time together. Especially with Christmas coming up. The joyous season always brought more work for them. More crime to the streets. 

There were a handful of people he liked to work with. Wonder was easy. He was a good support, very reactive. Nice conversation. Or maybe interesting was the better description. Call Girl was sensible, and could hold her own. He didn’t feel like he was babysitting her. And she didn’t get offended when he told her to be quiet. She knew him long enough to understand why he did the things he did. She would let him take the lead when he wanted to. 

Kite? Yeah, he liked working with Kite. Probably more than the others from Coon and Friends. He could support, like Wonder. He was sensible, like Call Girl. He was his favourite. From Coon and Friends. 

He was…nice. 

Stubborn. 

Distracting. 

“These lights are ridiculous,” Kite hissed out from their perch on one of the high rise buildings. “How in the hell do you humans see the streets properly?” 

“Practice,” Mysterion’s gruff voice answered. He normally would’ve left it there, but he couldn’t help but poke. “I understand if your eyes aren’t…equipped.” 

He didn’t need to look up to see the disapproval. He got it from the foot that landed a light kick in his side. “Asshole. My eyes are _fine_.” 

He allowed the smile to pass across his face while no one could see it. 

“I’m just – I don’t get why you feel that it’s necessary. They put them up in November, a whole _month_ before Christmas is scheduled!” 

“Did you not have big celebrations on your planet?” 

“We had…yes, but not as _flamboyant_ as this!” 

Mysterion finally looked up at the hero standing next to him. The green eyes were scanning the ground below, and from the way they flickered he suspected the man was looking at the lights, not the streets. Mysterion resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead rocked back on his heels as his work brain began to switch off. 

_Distracting_. 

“What kind of celebrations?” 

Kite looked down at him through the large pilot goggles. They hid his expression well. “Why?” 

“Curiosity.” 

“You’re not usually the curious sort.” 

Mysterion shrugged. 

“We had – I suppose the equivalent of your weekend – celebrations. They would start at dawn, finish at dusk the next day, and then be done. Decorations limited. None of this weeks upon weeks stuff.” 

“It’s nice. Apart from the excessive drinking. For a whole month.” 

“Do you celebrate?” 

Mysterion looked down at the streets below. There were a group of girls who seemed merry dancing down the street together. “I do.” 

“Really?” 

“Don’t sound too surprised.” 

“You don’t strike me as a celebration kinda guy.” 

Mysterion gave a weak snort of laughter. “I guess.” 

An all too dramatic sigh. He struggled to keep his face stoic at the sound. 

He struggled to keep his mouth shut and instead said: “You’re bored.” 

“ _You’re_ bored.” 

“Real mature.” 

“Fuck you,” there was no heat to the phrase. Instead Kite made himself comfortable on the ledge and sat beside Mysterion, his legs crossed as they surveyed the streets below. “How do you celebrate?” 

“The usual. A meal. Gifts.” 

“Who do you celebrate with?” 

“Kite…” 

A huff of annoyance. “Yeah, yeah. Can’t disrupt your mask.” 

Mysterion looked across with a wry smile. “Are you celebrating?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Don’t play dumb. It doesn’t suit you.” 

“I…hadn’t thought about it,” a flush of shame escaped under the rim of his goggles. “I haven’t before.” 

“Really?” 

“Never.” 

“Never had Christmas lunch?” 

“Nope.” 

“Never gone to a carol night?” 

“Na-ah.” 

“Never exchanged gifts?” 

The grimace spoke volumes. “No.” 

“What’s wrong with gifts?” 

“I…gifts aren’t my forte.” 

A smile broke out across Mysterion’s face. He couldn’t help it. “You’re bad at gift giving.” 

“I didn’t say _bad_. I said not my forte.” 

“Same diff.” 

“Not _same diff_. Don’t be an asshole.” 

Mysterion cleared his throat to try get some control over himself at the badly hidden smile on Kite’s face. “Alright, sure. Whatever you say.” 

“I’m not bad at it! I’m not, y’know, like, _amazing_ , sure, but not bad.” 

“Prove it.” 

Kite looked at him with wide eyes. “Wha-?” 

“Prove it. Prove you’re ‘not bad’ at giving gifts.” 

“How?” 

Part of him was growling low, telling him to stop what he was doing. That this was crossing a line he’d managed to avoid for so long. Part of him didn’t care. “I’ll get you something, you get me something.” 

“You want to _exchange Christmas gifts_?” 

“Sure, why not.” 

“Do you exchange gifts with all the heroes?” 

“No.” 

Green eyes narrowed further. “Do you do it with Wonder?” 

“Nope.” 

“Why _me_?” 

“I think it’d be funny to see how bad you are at it.” 

A look of fury passed his face. “You little – _fine_ , I’ll get you the best gift you’ve ever had!” 

Mysterion smothered a grin. “I look forward to it.” 

The static of the radio that was strapped to Kite’s belt broke through their conversation. A report of a theft in their area. They switched into work mode without a moments hesitation. Kite had dropped off the roof and taken to the air, while Mysterion used the shadows of the building to move quickly without being seen. 

When dawn began to break and he was finishing depositing the last unconscious drunk outside the police station and onto the thermal blanket that they had taken out of the stash hidden in one of the bins they used, he moved to disappear without a word. 

“See you later.” 

He didn’t respond to Kite. He never did. 

\--

Christmas shopping was…okay. 

It wasn’t Kenny's favourite thing. He wasn’t going to lie. He might’ve made fun of a certain alien hero a few nights before, but he wasn’t exactly great at picking gifts either. Or maybe that was just because of the people he had to pick gifts for. His parents were awkward at the best of times, constantly trying to figure out what was too much and too little. His brother never knew what he wanted. _Ever_ . Henrietta always ask ed for the most obscure things. Tweek – _jeez,_ if the guy could just settle on _one damn thing_. 

The saving grace was, as always, his sister. His beacon of patience there to help him make the decisions. It was the benefit of being so close and sharing a social circle. They could just buy things for people together. 

“So, mum and dad need a new microwave. I know that they didn’t ask for one, but they _need_ one, so we’re going to get that. Kev already gave me his share, he saved up a pretty good amount this Christmas. He gave me the money for my Christmas present too, if you want it?” 

“Sure,” he shrugged. “You know what you want yet?” 

“I’m hoping I get inspired today,” she muttered. “So I’ve got the list, and I’ve got the amounts we have to spend-!” 

“About that…” 

Karen looked up with soft blue eyes and a stern expression. “Kenny.” 

“I just – there’s an extra gift I’m getting this year.” 

“Oh!” the stern look lit up. “That’s fine! Have you made a new friend?” 

“Sort of.” 

“Sort of?” a less innocent smile crossed her face. “Is it-?!” 

“No!” Kenny scoffed at the very _idea_ of the former Coon Friend being anything… _like that_. “No, just, a sort of friend, y’know?” 

“No, I don’t know. I don’t know why you’re being defensive over it, either.” 

“Whatever let’s - just - I’m gonna need to get them something.” 

She nodded and looked down at the list in her hands as they strolled through the mall. “That’s no problem, I’ll just – let me just calculate…how much do you need for your sort-of-friend?” 

That was the next hurdle. “I…don’t know. I haven’t really decided what I’m getting him.” 

“Kenny, how can I math this if I don’t even know the numbers?” 

He felt a pang of guilt at her frustration. “Yeah, I know, but – maybe just...let’s get everyone, and I’ll just use what’s left over.” 

She bit her lip. 

“Unless…I don’t have to – I could just work some overtime to-!” 

“No, no I don’t want to stop you-!” 

“It’s a bit late. It was a bit spontaneous.” 

“If they’re expecting it, then-!” 

“Fuck ‘em, y’know? They’re only a sort of friend. Barely an acquaintance.” 

“We could just make Tweek something. He hasn’t even decided what he wants!” 

“We want to get mom and dad a microwave, Kare, we can’t afford to-!” 

“We can!” she grasped his wrist and pulled him to a stop. He stepped in close, glancing up to see a few other shoppers glancing their way at her outburst. “Please, I want you to do this.” 

“Why?” Kenny tried not to be defensive. Tried. “It’s not important. Not like the others.” 

“Because you never do _anything_ just for you,” she insisted. “You just let me decide every year, and you get whatever our parents and Kev need, even though you don’t even like it!” 

“You’re good at this stuff, Kare. Better than me.” 

“It doesn’t matter. You deserve to do something for you. Even if that something is…sort of for someone – it doesn’t matter! If you want to get them a gift, we’ll get them a gift.” 

Kenny glanced up again to check that most of the other shoppers had gone back to what they were doing before he grasped his little sister in a tight hug. He let go quickly again to look down at a brightly smiling face of victory. 

“Alright. Thanks, Karen.” 

“No problem! Now we just have to decide what your _sort of_ friend wants.” 

He didn’t have the heart to correct her teasing tone that time. He just let it happen.

\--

“You’re insane.” 

Kyle let his head hang back as he let out a frustrated sigh. He _knew_ that it was correct, and he _knew_ that telling Stan had been the worst decision. But he _knew_ that he couldn’t do it on his own so he had to tell someone. His invitation to Stan hadn’t been an invitation for open mockery all afternoon. Even if it was classic Stan behaviour. 

“I know, alright? But I’ve agreed now, I can’t just – go empty handed.” 

“You’ve never given a single Christmas gift in your life.” 

“I’ve given gifts!” 

“My birthday gift two years ago doesn’t count.” 

“Thanks for the reminder, _asshole_ . Maybe I have given a Christmas gift before, and you don’t know cause you haven’t got one, because you’re _ungrateful_.” 

Stan snorted with amusement at that. “Yeah, sure. So, did you have any ideas of what to get him?” 

“No. You know what he’s like. He’s not exactly…talkative.” 

“I dunno, it sounds like he talks to you more than some others.” 

“He makes fun of me.” 

“Same diff.” 

“I figured you’ve known him longer. You might have a better idea.” 

“I’ve been part of his team longer, but I don’t really know him, same as you. He’s pretty closed off. Always has been. He’s probably more open now than he used to be.” 

Kyle sighed as they left another store empty handed. “How difficult must it be to just…find some gift!” 

“Can’t you just get him a box of chocolates or something? Everyone likes chocolates.” 

“I…ugh, so, he told me to prove I wasn’t ‘bad’ at giving gifts.” 

“But you are.” 

“It was _one time,_ dude!” 

“Alright. So we just have to…go the extra mile.” 

“I’ve learnt a lot over the past two years. Surely…it won’t be that hard?” 

Stan bit his lip. 

“Let’s just…what kind of gift would he like?” 

“Think about his personality.” 

“He’s…an asshole.” 

“You think everyone here is, dude.” 

“But he’s very practically minded. He thinks on his feet. Very reactionary. And resourceful.” 

Stan nodded. “That’s for sure. And if you come up with a plan, he’ll follow it through to the best of his ability.” 

“So, every time, because nothing seems to stop him.” 

“Exactly!” 

Kyle hummed to himself as they continued to wander round the mall. “Something practical then, that he can use to help him. A tool of some sort.” 

“I’ve got it!” Stan tapped his hand into his palm. “Multi-tool!” 

“Excuse you?” 

“It’s – let’s just, I’ll show you. C’mon.” 

Kyle followed without question as he was lead to an all too familiar outdoorsy shop. Stan lead him around the shop with practised ease. They soon arrived at a wall full of various tools and pocket knives for sale, and Stan looked down until he found what he was talking about. He presented Kyle with something that looked like a wooden handle, with silver metal around the centre. 

“Multi-tool.” 

Kyle picked it up and stared at it. He stared at Stan. “What?” 

“It’s really cool, you can – look, you just open it like – this!” Stan fiddled with the tool to make a knife pop out from the side. As he continued he pulled different kinds of tools out from the handle, including a bottle opener and a pair of scissors. “They’re really handy.” 

“Oh wow, that is handy. That’s brilliant,” Kyle agreed as he lent forward. “What styles do they come in?” 

“All sorts dude. I have like, six.” 

“Of course you do.” 

Kyle looked up with a wide smile on his face. “It’s perfect!” 

The look on Stan’s face wiped his smile away in seconds. It was that look, the look that Stan was about to bring him right back down to earth. The look that he was going to say something that Kyle _hated_. 

“What?” 

“Nothing, nothing.” 

He could’ve left it there and not had to suffer through whatever it was. But he wanted to know what it was. He just _needed to know_. “What?!” 

“Nothing, it’s just. You’re really excited about this whole ‘Christmas gift exchange’ thing you’ve got going on, huh?” 

“I’m not excited, I’m just…” 

“Competitive?” 

“Whatever. Yes.” 

Stan hummed lowly. “Sure, sure. Whatever you say, dude.” 

Kyle didn’t entertain his so-call best friend longer than that. He moved to buy his gift, and it was no surprise when five minutes later Stan ended up adding new things to the pile that he wanted to purchase. At least he was dropping whatever train of thought he was about to go on. 

\--

Mysterion arrived at the area that he knew Kite was patrolling, pulling himself up onto the tallest building he could find in the area. Being so out in the open above the lights would make it easy to be spotted. He didn’t have to wait long before he was. 

The flying hero landed in front of him looking all shades of nervous. He was biting his lip, tapping his foot, folded his arms across his chest as soon as he could before saying: “Alright, I’ll – let me go first.” 

“Hello to you too, Kite.” 

He rolled his eyes at the answer and instead began to dig around in his pockets. “I brought you your Christmas gift – that-that is why you’re here, right?” 

“Yes, it is. Shall we sit down?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s not a bad idea.” 

They perched on the edge of the roof, allowing them to still see the streets that they were supposed to be protecting. Kite copied his cross legged stance as he brought a small, wrapped box out of one of his pockets. Mysterion raised a brow at the appearance of it. For some reason he’d expected the alien to go with ‘bigger means better’. 

“Here. Uh, happy holidays?” 

“Thank you,” Mysterion took the box with a smile on his face and began to unwrap it. He would be lying if he said he didn’t get some satisfaction over making Kite squirm as he took his time unwrapping his present. 

The box was plain black with a brand logo printed on the front. Mysterion opened it up to fish out the insides to inspect. 

Mysterion stared down at the tool that sat in the palm of his hand. The handle was decorative, even if it was just a plain wood. He felt his cheeks begin to heat up as the weight of what the gift was settled in. It was…actually a really good choice. 

“Toolshed helped me.” 

He looked up with wide eyes. 

There was a smile that tugged at the corner of Kite’s mouth. “I figured he might…know you a bit better than me. And just…know things I could buy.” 

“He teaches you a lot about being human, doesn’t he?” 

“He does. I know it’s not – _proper_ – for us to be so close, but…” 

“I think it’s nice. I’ve always been envious. Of the way you are. It must be nice.” 

“Do you get lonely being on your own all the time?” 

_Yes._ “No. It suits me.” 

“Bullshit.” 

Mysterion looked down at the multi-tool and ran a finger over the handle. “Thank you, Kite. This was very thoughtful.” 

“Yeah, well, no problem. So…what did you get me?” 

He smirked at the question before he reached round under his cloak, unstrapping where he’d secured the gift. He pulled out a perfectly wrapped present, golden bow reflecting the Christmas lights hanging from the buildings. Kite’s eyes widened as he took it, glancing between it and Mysterion. 

“Open it.” 

He didn’t need to be told twice. The alien began to methodically unwrap the present, though he did it with enough speed to cause some tears to the paper he was obviously trying to be delicate with. Mysterion chuckled at the action, and began to snigger as the look of excitement made way for amused annoyance. 

“Oh haha, very funny.” 

“It’s a Christmas tradition,” Mysterion explained as Kite pulled the item out fully and held it up between them. “Christmas sweaters.” 

“It’s terrible,” Kite’s voice wavered with laughter. “At least it’s accurate.” 

“I thought so. I liked the slogan. My sister helped me pick it.” 

Kite looked over the hem of the jumper. Between the aviator goggles hiding his eyes and the jumper hiding his mouth, his expression was hard to read. 

“She, uh, she loves Christmas. She tried to convince me not to get you that one, but I couldn’t resist.” 

“Yeah, cause you’re an _asshole_.” 

He dropped the sweater into his lap, the colourful writing of _‘_ _Merry Go **** Yourself’_ staring up at them, framed with snowflakes and patterns. Mysterion looked down at his own lap where his multi-tool sat. 

“I like it.” 

He looked up again to see Kite folding the jumper back into the safety of the wrapping. He wasn’t sure if it was just because of the bitter cold, but there was a dusting of red on his cheeks. Mysterion felt his throat go dry. 

“We should probably…do some work.” 

“Yeah,” Mysterion stood up and automatically pocketed the multi-tool in his most secure pocket, and the wrapping paper in another. “Duty calls.” 

Kite stood up with the gift in his arms and a smile on his face. “See you later, dude.” 

He turned to walk away, but not before saying: “Merry Christmas, Kite.” 

Later that evening, Kite would miss out on seeing Kenny sat in the living room he shared with his sister, using his brand new multi-tool to open bottles. He would miss the way Kenny and Karen attempted to find an excuse to use every single tool that was tucked away in the handle within one evening. 

Later that week, Mysterion would miss the look on Stan’s face as he came into the living room to find Kyle having a lazy day off, lying on the couch wearing his very first Christmas jumper. He would miss the way Kyle refused to stop wearing it for a solid week. 


End file.
